1. Twirlblast

A tornado, according to people in the 1700s. Why we switched to tornado, I’ll never understand.

2. Chork

The act of making the sound your shoes make when you’re walking in them and they’re full of water.

3. Interrobang

This refers to a specific punctuation mark that is a mixture of a question mark and an exclamation mark (‽). The fact that we choose to write ?!?! instead of using interrobangs is just sheer laziness.

4. Groaning-cheese

This amazing word refers to the Medieval belief that a woman in labor could be made to feel better by giving her some cheese. Nowadays, it’s simply cheese that’s celebratory of a birth.

5. Uglyography

Poor handwriting.

6. Ultracrepidarian

One who gives their opinions on things they don’t know about. This is a very old word derived from a Greek story. A shoemaker had approached the famous Greek painter, Apelles of Kos, and pointed out that he had drawn the sandal wrong. When Apelles fixed the sandal, the excited shoemaker began critiquing other parts of the painting. Apelles said to him, “Sutor, ne ultra crepidum,” or, “Shoemaker, not above the sandal.” The term “ultracrepidarianism” became popular in Britain in the 19th century.

7. Trumpery

Things that look nice, but are actually pretty worthless. Shockingly, this is a very old, medieval English saying, and not one that was invented in reference to a current politician.

8. Throttlebottom

A dishonest public official.

9. Empurple

To make something purple. It probably gets underused because there just aren’t many opportunities for us to discuss the making purple of things, but we could easily fix that by empurpling more of our lives.

10. Pilgarlik

Someone who is bald. Apparently, in the 16th century, they thought bald men’s heads looked like peeled garlic.

11. Crapulence

Easily the most amazing synonym for “hungover,” crapulence comes from the Latin word crapula, which just means “hungover.” Why we thought saying “I’m super hungover” sounded better than, “I’m completely crapulent right now,” we’ll never know. Another great term for hangovers is “the Woofits.”

12. Callipygian

One who is callipygian is one who has a nice backside.

13. Swullocking

Humid weather.

14. Snollygoster

An unprincipled politician. Though I really didn’t need to tell you that, you can basically feel the word’s meaning from its sound. It was a 19th century slang word that probably was a derivation of “snallygaster,” which was a mythical beast that supposedly haunted the hills around Washington, DC.

15. Nibling

A catchall, non-gender specific term for nieces and nephews, much like “sibling.”

16. Chasmophile

Simply enough, this is someone who loves nooks and crannies.

17. Scurryfunge

The act of hastily cleaning before a guest arrives.

18. Widdershins

Counter-clockwise. But isn’t this so much better than saying counter-clockwise?